again

slept over at the next boy's last night. no sex, but other things.
feeling guilty, again, just like old times.

it was weird in the morning, because he had to go to work, and i wanted to stay and cuddle, since i'm big on that, and that's how i feel cared for and stuff, but he was all business, and now i'm regretting a little, because what if, again, it was nothing to him, and here, i've given it up again, and it was something to me, something important.
damn my hormones, again.

and it's been less than two weeks since we've been "dating/seeing each other/whatever you want to name it."
we haven't even defined it... that's how much we are still in the beginning.
i was going to wait a whole month before any Mexican action happened. and definately wait for the title of girlfriend.
i'm so slutty.

i feel how i used to feel when i was dating and sleeping with people a lot. sort of empty, used, sad.
i told myself i never wanted to feel that way again, and that i would make smart choices from now on.
lot of good that did.

i suppose you can't break old habits. but with the old habits comes the old feelings, and i don't want those anymore.

again the ring has moved from it's place of honor, on the ring finger, to the thumb.

i'm sure, by the end of the day, i won't even be wearing it.
again.

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