getting better all the time
today is a much better day.
I saw the psychiatrist yesterday (sort of an emergency thing), and while it wasn't particularly helpful, she did help calm my nerves, and talk some things out. which, i think, is all i really needed to do. just, in the case of most of my angry-ness, there is no one i can talk to. most of it is confidential, most of it is things i'd rather not talk to other people about, and i haven't told my friends about the boy.
i don't know why i haven't told the friends about the boy. perhaps to not jinx it? except that i've told lots of other people. the pastor, the boss, the kid, the newsletter writer. hmmmm.
so the boy did call last night. he was having an especially crappy time at work the past few days, which would explain why he has not called. we are going to do something fun on thursday day. which, i'll admit, is weird. going on a date during the day is weird for me. but, he is busy, and he is making time to spend time with me, so i need to get over the weirdness and enjoy his lovely lips.
after he called, i realized i felt so much better. i hate that so much emphasis goes into the validation of my existence from another person. but, somehow, knowing that someone out there is interested enough to call back, and to carve out time to see me, makes me feel worthy, or wanted, or validated, or something. i was able to sleep better last night, i was able to enjoy some breakfast this morning. i'm able to calm the crap down, and enjoy my new freedom in life.
and today it is sunny and warm. tanktops, shorts and flip flops warm. that always makes the world a better place.
i am going to see the orthopedist this afternoon. my spine is apparently curved or something, and the space between my L4 & L5 is narrowing. who knows what that means, but my doctor wants me to see the orthopedist soon. which is today.
I saw the psychiatrist yesterday (sort of an emergency thing), and while it wasn't particularly helpful, she did help calm my nerves, and talk some things out. which, i think, is all i really needed to do. just, in the case of most of my angry-ness, there is no one i can talk to. most of it is confidential, most of it is things i'd rather not talk to other people about, and i haven't told my friends about the boy.
i don't know why i haven't told the friends about the boy. perhaps to not jinx it? except that i've told lots of other people. the pastor, the boss, the kid, the newsletter writer. hmmmm.
so the boy did call last night. he was having an especially crappy time at work the past few days, which would explain why he has not called. we are going to do something fun on thursday day. which, i'll admit, is weird. going on a date during the day is weird for me. but, he is busy, and he is making time to spend time with me, so i need to get over the weirdness and enjoy his lovely lips.
after he called, i realized i felt so much better. i hate that so much emphasis goes into the validation of my existence from another person. but, somehow, knowing that someone out there is interested enough to call back, and to carve out time to see me, makes me feel worthy, or wanted, or validated, or something. i was able to sleep better last night, i was able to enjoy some breakfast this morning. i'm able to calm the crap down, and enjoy my new freedom in life.
and today it is sunny and warm. tanktops, shorts and flip flops warm. that always makes the world a better place.
i am going to see the orthopedist this afternoon. my spine is apparently curved or something, and the space between my L4 & L5 is narrowing. who knows what that means, but my doctor wants me to see the orthopedist soon. which is today.
posted by Mrs. Lupo at 12:31 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home