compromise?

strange but expected e-mail from the next boy.
sounds like he wants to break up - doesn't think our lives are similar enough. feels dominated by me: most guys do. thinks our lives are too different, different goals - which they probably are.
and honestly, there is so much about him i have to sort of 'pretend' to ignore. i feel like i shouldn't have to do that. but also, maybe that's what a relationship is about - compromise, accepting, forgiving.
but at what point do you realize that too much is too much? at what point are you having to compromise/accept/forgive so much that you aren't even sticking to what you believe?

went to the new teacher orientation this morning. interesting at points, but mostly the big wigs talking at us - theories, history, blah blah blah.
did the laundry, puttered around the house.

had dinner with mom and gave her the gifts i brought.
home to veg in front of the TV.
checked e-mail - got the next boy's.
he had no excuse for not calling or e-mailing while i was gone. said he texted, but my phone didn't work there, although it should have saved them. who knows.
sad to think i gave it all up, again, for nothing at all.
upset that the relationship is over, because it's always nice to have someone to hold.
ultimately glad because somehow knew it wasn't meant to last. wasn't even meant to last as long as it did!
we are both broken people, but i'm trying to fix myself, and not break anymore.
he's still caught in denial/ignorance/oblivion. of course, it's easy to sit here and say that about him. he probably thinks the same sorts of things about me that aren't right or true.
spoke with gabe for about 1/2 an hour. she sounded ok. i worry, but i know she'll be alright.
i do miss her tons and i suppose i miss being on holiday, but it is good to be back in my own comfy bed with my torte.
even if it is a bit lonely...

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